New home

We finally made it...

In the past couple of months we've managed to buy a house, move into it and -- most importantly -- get rid of the landlords whom we rented the old apartment from. And the things I could tell about the landlords are unbelievable, but I will just summarize it into this: they are a bunch of selfish, snotty, manipulating, money-grubbing, antisocial gangsters and I'm EXTREMELY relieved that they're now out of our lives. I think that says enough.

As for the house, it comes of course with all the responsibilities and tasks that a house brings with it, but it's really remarkable how I've managed to get rid of loads of stress, regardless of the leaking kitchen roof, the moist outer wall, the cellar staircase that practically falls apart, and the monthly down payments eating through our budget. Having a house of our own (and getting out of that evil infested apartment) has turned my life completely around -- for the best. We still have lots of boxes to unpack, two weeks of laundry to catch up with, and two extra cats to take care of, but I sleep a lot better than before and I can now find the peace and time to practice my hobbies again. I actually signed up for a drawing course!

For the first time in four years, I feel like I'm getting on top of my life again. And it was about time too.

What would you do?

This question suddenly came to me today. It seems like a silly, trivial question, but I find it a very difficult one to answer.

Imagine you would be working in a hospital, and you would be responsible for distributing the patients' breakfast and for collecting the dishes afterwards. In this breakfast, a few slices of cheese or ham are included. Imagine that a patient doesn't eat all of his or her slices, and some of it is returned to you in the kitchen. What would you do with the remaining slices? Would you hand it out to the next patient, and risk spreading infection? Throw it away, and waste food? Eat it yourself to avoid either?

Imagine you would not be working in the kitchen of a hospital, where strict hygienic regulations are in order, but in that of a restaurant, or a boyscout campout, or in an industrial kitchen? What would you do then?

Return of the old me

The last two years have not been kind to my resistance against stress and pressure and my ability to see things in perspective. Not coincidentally, a lot of (albeit good) things happened to me these years: I moved to a new city, got a new job in the video games industry, raised a son, got married, and now we're expecting a second child.

Suffice to say that the extra responsibilities I gained for other people (of which I used to have almost none in the past) piled up a little too high for me. I was trying too hard to be the best husband, father, friend, employee, ... possible. I was losing sleep and spare time pretty fast, and I started taking things way too serious.

And then, about a week ago, I realized how far I've strayed from the path of inner peace. I need to get a grip on myself again, so now I'm trying to live by a few simple rules:

• Accept what happens, and don't try to change it. You will only realize that you can't change all that much, which will only annoy and aggravate you. Don't fight the stream, let yourself get carried by it and enjoy the ride.
• Forgive peoples' mistakes and admit your own.
• Try to look at things in perspective. If something bad happens, try to see it in the big picture and realize that it's never as bad as you first think it was.
• Don't let yourself get riled up by other people in traffic. Let speeders pass, take your time, hang back if necessary, and when some driver thinks he owns the road, just shake your head and forget about it.
• Don't always play music, even if it should relax you; try to listen to and enjoy the silence every now and then.
• Don't forget to breathe.
• Look up at the sky more.

Schwarzwald

Last friday, my wife and I returned from our week of holiday (actually, our honeymoon) in Schwarzwald, Germany. Our son stayed a week with his grandparents, so my wife and I could really relax and enjoy.

We stayed for 5 days and 4 nights in a quiet little hotel in Muggenbrunn, making small trips to surrounding sites like the Feldberg, Belchen (from the top of which we could see the Alps), the Todtnau waterfall, etc... Even in Muggenbrunn itself, there was ample opportunity to make small walking trips into nature. Really sweet.

The food in the hotel was absolutely incredible. In genuine German hospitality style, you get an oversized plate stuffed with delicious meat, flavored vegetables, and baked potatoes or home-made 'Spätzle'. Whenever you're halfway through your plate, though, they come fill it again for you; we never once were hungry in that entire week.

There's much more to tell, but I'm not going to bother too much. Instead, I'll show off (*ahem*) some of the drawings I made while we were there.

Back to square 1

Well, the week off has come to an end. It was a fun and relaxing week, with a couple of trips (Brugge, Gent, and Leuven), and some time spent at home drawing, playing boardgames, and watching Twin Peaks.

Our good intentions to sleep out didn't really succeed, though. Most of the time we stayed up later than we normally do (too much fun), and we got up at almost the same time as always (routine). So I don't feel of having caught up on sleep very much.

Household challenges

Until recently I figured that when two people have been together for over 4 years, have been friends for over 8 years, and have successfully (i.e. without any fights or much doubt) lived through the first year of raising a child, any challenge would be easy to overcome.

Apparently, I was not entirely correct. It's very important to think of your wife and kids first, and to talk things out at the earliest opportunity, but lately I have come to the realisation that it's equally important to not stop thinking about yourself.

The trick in keeping a happy family is finding the balance between providing for your loved ones and keeping yourself happy and healthy. But that can be hard sometimes when exhaustion finally catches up with you.

I, for one, am EXTREMELY lucky to have a wife (well, actually a fiancee) who thinks on the same level, whom I can discuss these issues with, and who actually helps me better myself and at the same time allows me to help her better herself.

I'm also EXTREMELY lucky to have a very healthy, very kind, very calm, and very intelligent son, who makes it all worth the trouble.